Simulacrums, the holograms of Magic.

He's got 99 problems, thankfully he also has a bag of holding.

What you heard is what you hearin'

Eight episodes left until the fucking finale of HIMYM? This season already feels like it's taken forever, must we need more episodes?

I'm assuming by "that" you mean your wallet. Don't mind if I do.

I had no business hosting the Oscars

"You're going to win tonight, so might I suggest you do something incredibly emotionally exploitative to remove any ill will leveled at you?"

My absolute favorite sketch next to the one where David Wain explains how comedy is lying at its most basic.

Marky's Fries got a funky crunch

This those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?

Honestly, Greg and Terry are probably the best characterized gay characters on television these days. I mean, yeah, pretty much their only competition comes from Ryan Murphy shows, so no real biggie. But that AD is able to get in some gay messages without being all saccharine is indicative of some great writing.

I would have preferred a clip of Harrison falling down on the treadmill.

What is this, Soviet Russia?

Why ignore the third when it did a bang up job restoring the realism and agency lost in the second?

America: Where we care more about the return of a fictional cartoon dog (even though it was obvious as to his return) than we do about gun violence against children in the same episode. We seriously had to wait a year for a fantastic episode because Santa shot up some tables, plates and pots?

They usually have at least one dud a season, which isn't that bad. Especially considering that we're in season 9 here and approaching Simpsons-levels of great episodes by quantity.

I think the kidney episode was simply to screw with people that would nitpick about that sort of thing.

I've been DADDED?! IS NOBODY SAFE?!

It makes for fun guessing the rest of the sentence. At my zoom level, at least, it's "Allison Janney continues to shi…"

You were expecting something smarter?