Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away (watch out, or he'll blow you away)

"Cavity Search" is the one Weird Al song I can't take. Not because it isn't good, but because right around the time it came out, I got my wisdom teeth extracted, and it went horribly. I didn't react correctly to the anesthia, so they gave me a double dose. I woke enough briefly during the surgery, enough to hear them…

Welp, I'm drunk. I thought you said Romulan. And my first thought was "it's not straighforward, the Romulans like doublespeak!"

I used to work in a health club. Back when the Penthouse books were still a thing (they still could be a thing, I dunno) I'd read them at work, get all hot and bothered, and hit the showers. Over 5 years, I must've defiled them all. The building's an office now. Considering how much my solo acts were the tamest things…

I've done some pretty messed up things, and some regretful things, but the thing I regret the most is kissing my best friend as he and his then girlfriend were on the rocks. We were all friends, and even though there was blame on both sides of their relationship, they were still together at that part. I knew it was…

I lost a friend of mine in November. We weren't especially close, but we had just hung out the weekend before, and he texted me to go out that weekend but I couldn't. (I still have that last text I sent "Sorry, not this time. Rain check?") I know that there were signs (he told me some of what he'd been going through-…

I was riding with my grandmother one day, fresh out of high school, and we saw someone hit a dog. It was the sound that got us. I'd never seen her cry before. 
That was about 15 year ago now. I'm that person that stops and tries to get the animal out the street.

Eh, my mom and I have the same first initial- I've been AARP stuff since she turned sixty (I was 28). My favorites are the cemeteries. "Since you're obviously gonna die soon, might as well let us plant ya!"

I finally started "A Portrait of Sepia" by Isabel Allende. I'm about 80 pages in and the plot hasn't started yet, and yet I'm utterly fascinated by the pictures she paints in my mind. She also wrote Zorro, kinda like a retelling of the legend, and it was so good that I regretted that it was a library book.

Eat at the shrimp trucks if that's your thing! Or get ramen! Lots of ramen! 
Turtle Bay is awesome. Catch at least one sunrise (I know, so cliche). Use lots of sunscreen. No, more than that! Take it from me, the black girl that fried herself in Hawaii (and I'd been there for two weeks at that point. Sun don't play).…

Yeah, I work in retail. Reading the article with the video made me ragetastic- if I'd actually watched the video I'd be in jail now.

That sounds reasonable to me. I'd looked at them like "why are you telling me this?" while shooting the most deadpan look I can manage.

I don't go to movies either, but mine is a 'I want to see that!' when I hear about it or see a trailer, then after the reviews start dropping, I think "oh, I can wait until that's second run" or forget it entirely. By the time it's actually second run, I've forgotten all about it. I did manage to see ST:ID and while I…

The leprechaun dude! I finally bit the bullet and asked my friends that are in this movie club (I'm not, because that would require I watch movies) what the heck was Holy Motors supposed to be about. They didn't know, and since they're the experts, I don't feel as dumb anymore.

It's just so very nineties to me. Motown Philly, back again! Seriously, I remember rocking my jean shorts with my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt in middle school and thinking I was too cool for words. (I wasn't, then or now.) 

Washers almost sounds like horseshoes. Do ya'll play that too? You don't have boards, but you have two poles and you try to get the horseshoe around the pole. There's scoring, but I've never learned how- we just play "okay, you were closer" until the booze causes friendly fire.

Yeah, I've got some people I know that I can't call friends, because if I never called, we'd never see each other. Stop making me feel like a creepy stalker when I text you!

I have some Sweet Lucy Bourbon Cream chilling, waiting for me to enjoy its lovely goodness. I started to get some Tres Leches liqueur too, but I think that's gonna tip into being too sweet for words.

Some Lysol, some Comet, I gotta mop and it's got your name on it!
What?!
I'm just kidding, doggone it.
Oh. Unless you gonna do it!

Ambrosia's live version of Holding Onto Yesterday is awesome. The version I have is from one of the reunion tours, and the harmony almost sounds better than the actual song.