good advice.

This country was founded on religious intolerance. The first people to come here did so because Europe wasn't religious enough for them; then they fractured off and created a ton of geographically small colonies because they couldn't agree on who was the better Christian, which is why you have Maryland, Delaware,…

consider the source, spud.

so goddamned embarrassing to be from here sometimes

anything with mark wahlberg is the worst movie of all time

Molly > Mary Louise

Molly Parker and Carla Gugino make out in a movie in which Molly is playing a hooker?

ask them about how hard it is for white men to get into college these days.

Because your union is like the basketball union and ours is like the baseball union.

Compared to Newt Gingrich, a manatee is attractive

you are right, and your avatar is fantastic

(cartman voice)

I disagree with your baby-dividing positions but I will defend to the death your right to hold them

sources are for wonky intellectuals, good ol' fox just says "People are saying…"

it's called the Leno Doctrine

i hope it's not so much a stick as a tree trunk

what does "i got sunshine in a bag" mean, anyway?

first celebrity crush, circa Leaving Las Vegas when I was 12.

Homeboys in Outer Space.

i as well