I've never ever played golf in my life. The closest I've come is drunk mini golf. I've decided that when I finally get round to playing golf for the first time, I'm going to do it drunk and with a ghetto blaster, Rodney Dangerfield style. The only problem with this plan is that I would have to depend on a friend or a…

Shingles sound awful. Do you have any films you tend to go to when you're ill?

Hey AV Club! Look to your left, look to your right. You both failed Robocop 101 because you don't have a holster in your leg.

Martha Marcy May Marlene may be one of the most terrifying films I've seen in the cinema.

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

What's in the paper? Earth-quaker… Earth-quaker… Whole lotta shaking goin' on down there. Earth-quaker…  What's number one in the chartssss? Bel Biv DeVoe. Bell Biv DeVoe.  Number one in the chartssss: Bell Biv DeVoe… Could I have some Cornflakessss? Could I have some Cornflakessss?  Can't have Cornflakessss… without…

Oh shit. Great call.

Totally acceptable response.

Random Roles has really been on a roll recently! Thanks @avclub-43c2872b929f4e64e31828b133b59105:disqus ! This has probably become my favourite feature on the site!

Goddammit.
Probably the biggest tragedy of the ignominious failure of The Golden Compass is that we'd never get more of Sam Elliott as Lee Scoresby.

Where nothing cam possiblie go wrong…

http://i304.photobucket.com…

Stompin' on ants, suckin' up souls!
Stompin' on ants, soul, soul, soul!

Now come on. They were pretty funny. Particularly in their take-down of the ridiculous fake seagull ruse, and then Allie's outline of her alternate ending, which cuts to images of Goldfinger's smashed, pulped carcass, the funerals of all the henchmen and the image of Dink sadly leaving an abortion clinic and boarding…

I had no idea that Millar was behind that.

This really made my day. Thanks.

To be fair, all of Allie and Georgia's criticism's of Goldfinger were totally on-point, and it was awesome how Matt & Matt let them tear into it. I think Gourley made an excellent point when he stated that although Goldfinger isn't actually a good movie, the reason it gets cited as most people's favourite Bond is…

Ugh. Worst Abbott & Costello routine ever.

I have a huge soft spot for "The Voices".

Awwww man. Best Hatesong ever.