Ah, Comiskey Park. How I miss your sweet stench of stale beer and marijuana.

Stock up on Pedialyte Freezer Pops. Nothing better the morning after.

Gotta start watching this.

Get out and take your Sacagawea dollars with you. I'll give ya 'til the count of three…One…(gun shot)

Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the boogeyman was after me, and he was hiding under…
Homer: Ahhhhhhhhhh! Boogeyman! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!

With Vitamin R!

I know you can read MY mind, boy…meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow…

Hey hey! It's great to be back at the Apollo Theater! And uh…KKK? That's not good…

Yes!

The way he draws out "Lolllllipop Laaaane."

I've been called a greasy thug, too. It never stops hurting. So here's what we're gonna do: We're gonna grease ourselves up real good and trash that place…

I found this behind the radiator.

This is lamb, Lisa, not A lamb.

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

The essence of Ralph:

Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.

KROON ALONG WITH KRUSTY! Probably my favorite opening to any episode.

Did it just get fatter in here?

Shut up a'you face!

His bladder is full. Full of urine!