So the SF Sketchfest is happening next month.  I was pretty late to the party last year, but at least went to Harmontown.

But…Kobe, Gasol, and Howard!

GIVE GUNS TO ALL THE STUDENTS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES NOW

Twin Peaks series finale?  I haven't watched it, but didn't it end on a cliffhanger?

I haven't been following basketball as closely as football, so I haven't watched any Lakers games.  But even without Steve Nash, how the fuck are they sucking with Kobe, Gasol, and Howard?

I feel like I'm too dim to catch on, or I'm surrounded by crazy people."

@avclub-ea4ae23776b72e0f3eec7de67170a53d:disqus Whoa, you're pregnant!  Congratulations! (or condolences).

Also never a headline, but just as likely: "Armed lunatic with mysterious agenda against NRA members decides not use illogical strategy of charging a gun range, instead picking them off one by one in the comfort of their own homes using stealth and ingenuity."

The species Homo Glazomanicus experiences aging at roughly half the rate of Homo Sapiens.

Well, I think it could've worked in the hands of better writers.  It wouldn't have been terribly realistic, but that wasn't the biggest problem.  The biggest problem was that it sucked.  It's mind-boggling how the people who wrote the interrogation in Q&A also wrote the confrontation between Carrie and Nazir.

It's a list listing all the lists you've forgotten to list out so far.

My proposed method is create the list while standing on my head after spinning myself sick on a swivel chair in order to roughly approximate the inability of women to think clearly and rationally.

Well, you never know.  For instance, some dude could concoct a grand scheme to destroy the world unless a few 15-16 year-olds perform sexual acts with lances.  In that case, they should do it, for the world.

What if the non-ladies just sent in another list, but from the female perspective, using everything we've learned about women from popular television sitcoms like Two and a Half Men or Modern Family?

Heard of 13…watched 2.

Single, no.  Double, yes.

Well, I didn't say it had to be during high school.   Maybe a brief reunion during winter break freshmen year.

This sounds like it should be a sweet inspiring story about high-school sweethearts, but all I see is a failed threesome, which according to your friends' tastes would've included medieval objects like jousting lances and jesters.

True story: I once built a robot to impress a girl in high school, but then she started dating it.

She comes from a model about 2-3 generations more advanced than Bob Greenblatt's.