Eyeliner, right. Who the fuck does he think he is? Nestor Carbonell?

Britney Spears thinks he's funny. "BWA-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!!" Like that, except scarier and more robotic.

Gervais on The Office and Extras: Funny
Gervais in his recent TV standup special: As funny as a pus-filled festering boil

Actually, I already do that whenever I see her onscreen. It's become an autonomic reaction by this point, like Pavlov's dog, so I doubt I would be able to stop myself.

Kevin Eubanks sucks. He plays these ugly-ass custom handbuilt guitars that look like they probably cost $13,000 apiece and his tone still sounds like shit. Jimmy Vivino's where it's at.

If I ever got the opportunity to hang around nonchalantly reading a magazine in the close vicinity of Chloe Sevigny, I'd feel compelled to do like Randal did to Veronica in "Clerks" and make that "slurp, slurp, slurp" sound every time she walked by.

Sounds like they robbed it of some of its magic by pushing the alien thing from the get-go. I remember seeing the original in the theater when I was probably 6 (and developing a crush on Kim Richards), and for the whole movie I was thinking "Cool, they're witches!" Then their uncle shows up in the spaceship at the…

Yeah, that was gross, and hilarious.

KTO, thanks for that. Now, if only someone could tell me that the Dennis Miller Routine-O-Tron is archived somewhere and where to find it.

All the judges are irrelevant, except Simon.

I wasted many an hour at work reading The Spark back when Christian Rudder was the editor. Hours that I now waste reading the A.V. Club. What Nabin is to the A.V. Club, Rudder was to The Spark. Just a funny motherfucker. The Stinky Feet project was classic.

Speaking of hot Laura Prepon is really hot with blond hair. And red hair.

I guarantee that you will.

I remember some not-so-veiled attacks at the psychiatric field; mind control, brainwashing and whatnot. As we all know, those Scientologists love them some psychiatrist-hatin'. It was a fun, entertaining read, something I can't say about that other huge doorstop that's a bestseller primarily because the author's…

Murray, I read Battlefield Earth back in middle school—the paperback had emblazoned on the cover "Soon to be a major motion picture!"—yeah, right (this was like 1985). I enjoyed the everlovin' shit outta that book. I think I even read it again a year or two later. If I read it with adult eyes, however, I'm pretty…

Ooh, I got a reply from Nabin! I'm all a-tingly!

Hey, Ted McGinley was on Married With Children for like 8 years.

Yeah, he was a pretty good golden age sci-fi/pulp writer before fading into obscurity. Whatever happened to him?

I was disappointed. I really wanted to see those big ol' titties unleashed. We still have two more episodes left, though.

I'm just trying to imagine a situation in which I would be close enough to Summer Glau to smell her farts, and not just that, but that she would also be comfortable enough to fart in my presence. Sigh.