If Plastic Bertrand joined the Yoko Ono band they would call themselves… ah crap, I gots no punchline!

You probably can't trust someone named Jewy McStolemyideaforascript.

Man, doesn't CBS show enough womens tennis?

The wrong kid got stabbed!

I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips

Don't put yourself down Todd. You're … you're not good.

The cheese in the sandwich in question was underaged Todd, U DUN GOOFED! Call Chris Hanson

I'll put you in a fuckin rose garden you cunt-tree

Exactly! Why not just hire Ben Gristis?

Make a film that kills like Crank
Eats so much look like Tyra Banks

50 bucks never killed anyone!

RIP Sugar(tits) Minott. May you never have to blow Mel Gibson again

In a row?

Judge Predd
Dawn of the Pred

What! It just won 20 Emmys and zzzzzzzzz…

Get it Van de Camps: don't fuck this up or you'll be reviewing the HSN!

Get in line Sam, I downloaded DJ Jazzy Jeff/Boogie mix tape which assures me and Brie will be dating soon

Ask her if she is big boobs

Now, what is it that has four pairs of pants, lives in Philadelphia, and it never rains but it pours?

More like Hans "Muslim" Anderson, am. i. will i. ma.