The Sopranos ended in 2007, Vicks. You were only three years old then. If I remember correctly, you were taking an extremely large shit during the finale, and after you were done, you hid out in the bathroom due to your fear of all things Gandolfini. You even thought Gandalf was James Gandolfini.

Good, Vicks, you're here. We need to discuss your little tirade from yesterday. I never knew Despicable Me could set you off like that, and I apologize for choosing to put that movie in. However, you cannot shout in the streets, and I quote, that "John McCain has a nice little asshole, and I'd like to jiggle it up…

You do not love this, Vicks. No, please put the Laura Dern bobblehead you made down. Let's talk.

No! No references to dirt, Vicks. You know what dirt makes you do. Don't have me break out the wipes, please.

File #22

No, vicks, your daddy is not gay. You need to accept this fact. Here, have a fruit snack.

I have my hands full right now. Once Vicks clicked on this article, I knew there was no turning back. Seeing Enlightened in yet another article has sent her into a fit of rage. She has thrown away her rubber ducky. Hopefully she…

Remember, Vicks, you did not see The Tree of Life. That was merely a tree. You like Brad Pitt, too. Remember? You confessed to me yesterday your desires to, and I quote, "Slap that handsome ass".