You 'no bicycles after the apocalypse' people are like that guy in the Monty Python sketch who just wanted to learn how to defend against a pointed stick. Post-apocalyptic fiction is never going to acknowledge your question, let alone answer it. Now, go back to self-defense against fresh fruit, or I'll release the…

There goes a LOAN shark!

There goes a LOAN shark!

WOLVERINE(S)!

WOLVERINE(S)!

But that would make Seth Rogen, AKA Green Hornet, a sidekick! Does not compute.

But that would make Seth Rogen, AKA Green Hornet, a sidekick! Does not compute.

They'll just move the article to The Onion and get on with life.

They'll just move the article to The Onion and get on with life.

I think it has to be a Sisterhood of the Traveling Cock situation. Whoever he has sex with gains his penis, and then it travels around going on wild adventures.

I think it has to be a Sisterhood of the Traveling Cock situation. Whoever he has sex with gains his penis, and then it travels around going on wild adventures.

Well, we know how you're voting on the suspiciously-newly-created Commie Awards category "Great Job, Internet! Entries That Disappointed Me By Failing To Capture The True Wonder of the Internet's Boundless Creativity Engine".

Well, we know how you're voting on the suspiciously-newly-created Commie Awards category "Great Job, Internet! Entries That Disappointed Me By Failing To Capture The True Wonder of the Internet's Boundless Creativity Engine".

His coup would take forever! He'd execute the whole operation in slo-mo. 

His coup would take forever! He'd execute the whole operation in slo-mo. 

Liked because your comment mentioned The Wire, which is an awesome show that everyone should watch, quote relentlessly, and possibly masturbate to in the privacy of your own home.

Liked because your comment mentioned The Wire, which is an awesome show that everyone should watch, quote relentlessly, and possibly masturbate to in the privacy of your own home.

Anyone remember the movie "Conventioneers", about a star-crossed romance between an Republican delegate and a Democratic protester at the 2004 RNC convention? Somehow, just as bad as this, despite lacking Canadians.

Anyone remember the movie "Conventioneers", about a star-crossed romance between an Republican delegate and a Democratic protester at the 2004 RNC convention? Somehow, just as bad as this, despite lacking Canadians.

Don't you mean "Me om-nom-nominating this comment"?