I give it two and a half hoagies.

Listen, I don't need to see Star Wars to know it endorses Obamacare.

Reasonable discussions.

I get it.  It's like if Spielberg wanted me to root for the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, why'd he let them eat all my favorite characters? That film would've been much better if the dinosaurs just showed people around the island and then walked them to their cars in the end.

And the mudsharks were sterilized and came sealed in surgical wrap.

I felt so bad for Elizabeth Banks.  It must've been tough that one time someone teased her and she punched them in the face.

I don't get all the huckadoo over Blob Scharpling's music videos.  His newest one for Chuck Mangione's "Flugel Freak-out" is absolute garbage.

@avclub-0d4efaa2c9d1041eb9b8b5319eec8531:disqus Hilarious avatar / subject matter synergy.

I get jokes!

@avclub-21cb1137b6aab4de4328a8c698770071:disqus "The Gremlins have destroyed Gary, IN!"  -Mayor of Gary, shouted as Gremlin train is still approaching

Ha HA!  Not to scale…

A train leaves South Bend, IN at 11:59PM going west at 60 mph carrying 5 Mogwais, a sandwich, and a bucket of water…

*giant hook appears from offstage*

@Scrawler2:disqus I'm going to break your serve.  Then I will break your butt.

…and then proceeded to shit all over the set to make a point.

I'm such a big fan of your wri…

I'd be suspicious of any kid making such liberal and energetic use of the word "biz."

Quit bragging.

That's like saying "Seth Rogen is a fat John Candy."

A Pete Holmes WTF would be the only episode where the interviewer walks out on the interviewee.  I say Pete should be allowed to come in, but if he laughs even once, end the interview.