Someone get the holy water and the hose. CFAmick is about to overheat.

A long time ago, while reading The Onion online, I saw a banner ad for The Hater (I think that was what Amelie's column was titled back then) which read "Like punching Jessica Simpson in the face with words." Fortunately I was at an age where I still clicked banner ads. Who knows what other great parts of the internet…