I hope David Cross runs onstage dressed as a doctor and chases her around with a big needle.

…or so you'd like us to think.

You could say that she's just giving natural selection a helping hand by killing off the children of stupid parents, if you were a callous asshole who didn't care what people thought of you.

Y'know Tim Allen actually became Santa for a while after doing that?

What about Mrs Claus? She's like the North Pole's Smurfette.

But it ended surprisingly quick.

@avclub-16db446cafb1ffb1466e71eaf97a4f49:disqus  Vote Santorum!

I heard that putting fluoride in our water supply was nothing but a stinkin' commie plot.

Also glasses. And you have to buy your own lab coat.

Boobs are a mystery that way.

Maybe we could just go to the beach chairs at Walmart.

If you've got German relatives then you've probably got some Jewish blood in you. If you've got Arab relatives then you're definitely semitic. So: welcome to the Tribe, chaver! Now let's go to Tim Horton's and complain about the bagels.

Jewish Canadian here. "Casual" anti-semitism is, at the risk of sounding hypersensitive, still a fact of life in this country. It's just that the very "casual" nature of it makes it low key and often easy for non-Jews to miss. Unlike, say, the defacing of Jewish tombstones (which still occasionally happens in Canada),…

I heard Love and Theft first, and really think of it as the best of the recent three. Modern Times just sounded same-y to me, but maybe that was fatigue setting in.

Time Out of Mind also has "Love Sick" on it. Another good one.

Please don't post there, anybody. Just respect the natural beauty of it and look with your eyes, not with your hands.

Septopus, septopus…

Um, post-emptive warning, I guess? Sorry.

Got caught eating with your left hand, didn't you?

@avclub-19062770653aac69ecab308b0c1ed17c:disqus  There's a brief description of Smoke Children down near the bottom of this NY Times article on Pol Pot and Cambodia:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005…
This is what superstition looks like before it gets sanitized, I guess. You can still smell the blood.
For what it's worth I…