You keep your fucking hands off my precious a.

Hey, maybe that means the climate is right. If Trump gets elected on an "I am a monster, just not to you guys" platform, maybe Franken's "I did a lot of drugs and probably offended some people with jokes" dossier will play.

Oh, you go to Sheila too?

Didn't litmus tests get us into this situation?

And THAT is why Kirk Cameron left you behind.

"FRENCH class! Haaahahahah!!"

My dad liked novelty records - like, a LOT - so I assumed our shelf of K-TEL wacky hits was typical. In grade school, I baffled most of my classmates with in-class performance of stuff like Jumpin' Gene Simmons' "Haunted House" and Nervous Norvis' "Transfusion" (they wouldn't let me do "Shaving Cream," but my kid…

He's not right, but he's not exactly wrong either.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Leave one of your biggest enemies imprisoned but alive for the sake of poetry, while giving them an additional reason to want you dead? Solid choice, Cersei.

Hell, think of when Trevor Noah would make a Bernie joke. He'd get laughs, but quieter and occasionally laced with grumbling; Hillary jokes typically killed though. (Although the dynamic seemed reversed on Sam Bee's show)

Have you ever seen conservative comedy? It typically doesn't work because it's almost entirely focused on punching down; anything that aims upward (e.g., at Clinton) is mostly name-calling rather than anything based in substance. When you're dealing with an authoritarian mindset (I know, I know, not ALL…

We think ALL of those are funny. Also: Fort Dix.

But you tried, and that's important.

Please leave Tiny Train World, sir.

Ken comparisons happen; usually it's for generically handsome to the point of being sexless actors.

Ah, the rare no-yes-no. Now find me a no-no-yes.

You know, like Marv Albert.

At some point in the past year, though, Buzzfeed became Mashable and Mashable became Buzzfeed. I'm not saying it's great, but they do okay.

Here we part ways.

APA, however, forgot that shit, like, yesterday.