First: I'm a big fan of the current newswire writers - great job all around, folks - but I gotta know, what is the calculus that dictates when you guys bring O'Neal in? Is there some red phone you turn to, or does he just burst through a wall and declare "MINE"? I want to see a timeline of O'Neal-staked posts to…

"Tape of Love" and the Canine Epilepsy song are two gems that I was always frustrated were not released (although I guess "THIS IS THE REMIX" followed by a bunch of dogs freaking out kinda tanks the latter for the singles market).

"Soon, you'll have abs of steel, ice in your veins and a set of brass balls THIS BIG."

Shelley Long was never analogous.

Wow, shoulda read the comments. People fucking hate this guy. Now I just feel kinda bad for him.

What if just everybody else starts calling him that?

In all "I don't own a TV" seriousness, who the fuck is Ed Sheeran? Should I be mad at Jamie Foxx about this? Grateful? On an Unknown Gets Elevated scale of Mitch Hedberg to Kim Kardashian, what's an appropriate emotion to feel here?

"I can give you a yellow circle and some smaller circles. We'll put the rest in the manual."

Brian Dennehy has taught him well.

Thank you, I appreciate this.

Sounds like a perfect time for the Fudgie the Whale Cake Clock!

It's sad that he's lost a step. Used to be you couldn't even get out Candleja—

Yeah, it's the only issue with the Presidents Song. Although to be fair, would anyone WANT it updated to the present day now?

I mean, this is why religion exists. Unless your folks just cut you loose in the wild at age two, nobody escapes this.

For years the discussion has been between those who start (correctly) with the original trilogy and those who start with the prequels (nevermind those Machete Order nuts), but the past few years have introduced a new possibility: Starting with Force Awakens. My kid saw it in the theater, and although I've watched…

Thanks for saying it much more concisely. The review is thorough and agreeable, so I couldn't quite get my head around what seemed off.

I'm confused by this. The criticisms seem mostly based in "well, it's funny, but it knows it's being funny, so…" It absolutely does sound like a pastiche, callback, reference or amalgam (am I out of semi-synonyms yet?), but nowhere does it really say why that's problematic. In fact, like the review states, refreshing…

If I was half that punk at 50, I'd feel pretty good. It's the perfect sweet spot: You can still rock out but now you can wear comfortable clothes.

Lars has the best goddamn punk look ever.

Well now I'm disappointed.