Man, Billy Madison was great though.

My theory: The entire old school hilarious SNL club all turned to shit or died. Look at them now: Dan Aykroyd is a cryptozoologist trying to get Ghostbusters 3 made, Chevy Chase didn't do anything good between Christmas Vacation and Community, Al Franken is a fucking Senator from my own great state, Eddie Murphy is…

Unrelated, but I wanted to point out that I love Doctor McNinja SO MUCH.

Wouldn't the tree just kill him every winter?

@twitter-499832989:disqus Do you actually live in Northfield? I'm from Lakeville. REPRESENT.

HEY OH!

Right? Yeah.

OKCupid, friend. It's a magical place.

In keeping with exactly the opposite tone of this piece, I had full on sexual intercourse while on high-level drugs in a crowded theater during Kill Bill: Volume 2. It was probably the best date I will ever have.

Coincidentally I saw this on a date as well, but I ended up going ass to ass with her. IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT!

This was the obvious joke, but it needed to be made. Kudos, Poop!

I was seeing an especially attractive young lady for some time. We got on well and also she was especially attractive, but we had a MAJOR disconnect in matters of taste. I showed up to her place one night, and saw a freshly purchased Britney Spears box set. That was when I knew our love wasn't meant to be.

For my first ever actual date with a lady, we went to see X-2: X-Men United. At the very beginning, when Nightcrawler comes out and is super awesome, I started crying. No sobs, but serious tears running down my face. She asked "Are you OK?" to which I replied "It's just… so awesome."

Clear Channel killed the radio star.

A surprisingly high percentage of my favorite songs were discovered in exactly this way. Diamonds in the rough, as it were.

I went to get a new library card last year, and the Librarian told me I had a 20 some dollar fee because I'd never returned "My Teacher Fried My Brains". So good reference!

That's my purse! I don't know you!

Also FUCKING NAVI. You're so useful. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP.

My favorite part of the entire game was when Phelps and Herschel confront a suspect who has a previous arson conviction, and the suspect is like "Yeah, my wife won our house in the divorce, so I burned it down!" and Herschel says, "You did the right thing, son."

Magneto for sure. So evil. So genocidal. So kinda… right.