I've always preferred the Bleeding Gums Murphy version.

It really can. I'm reasonably sure that if I had an adderall scrip I'd be President.

I'm so jealous.

People despise 'Homer's Enemy'? Awww. That's a personal favorite.

Lisa needs braces!

PART TWO: My first actual, productive orgasm was inspired by scrambled Spice Channel boobs. They were smallish to medium boobs, which possibly fueled my lifelong love affair with same.

As a 29 year-old (powerlifting) man, I feel I was born at the perfect time. My youth was spent madly lusting after pornography, with little success. I grew to appreciate it greatly. And just as I came (hahahaAHAHAHAHA) of age, the world became a wonderland of free, easily accessed, amazingly specific pornography.…

@avclub-36d950d2edf29ad0067ab7ef5a06daa4:disqus I think I actually would suck a cock for $1000. It BARELY even depends on the cock.

Tifa Lockhart.

I kinda want to hear about said terribleness.

I think Tom IS going to learn to restrain himself, and that he and Ann will have at LEAST a fling.

I imagine Ben is pretty darned internet savvy.

Do you mean he's an asshole with a rapey vibe, or that he has a vibe that he rapes people's assholes?

This is off topic, but has anyone seen the commercials for the new John Krasinski/Drew Barrymore/Some Whales movie? IF SO, have you noticed that Krasinski's performance seems stunningly bad? Like, even worse than you'd expect given that it's a heartwarming family film about whale savin'.

@avclub-707b5ac727c0edae6a0e570deacc02fa:disqus This is probably my favorite comment I've ever seen on this site.

Although I ALSO learned recently that Mark Wahlberg committed some racially motivated hate crimes in his youth, and I'm glad to know that. Now I can call him an asshole when people say he's ever so handsome!

I'm happy celebrity gossip sites and shows and all that stuff exists. I want people who care about that nonsense to get their fill of it; I have some pretty silly interests myself. I'm NOT interested in it, and until recently it's been easy for me to avoid. So everybody's happy! Yay!

Nuh uh.

Doc dancing with Jewel makes me bawl like a 4 year old girl with a skinned knee every single time.

Dear entertainment conglomerate corporations,