Well said.

That's why I DO like the anti-Jerry jokes. Leslie is the kindest, sweetest person on the planet, and Jerry is SO AWFUL that even she feels the need to make fun of him. It's because they clash so hard tonally that I laugh so darned much. Also Jim O'Heir is an underappreciated genius.

In my defense, I was 15 or so.

Not to mention he couldn't even come up with 'Sue' on his own, he had to call Shel Silverstein for help.

I got WAY into Johnny Cash when I was about 14. He played a show around these parts not long after, and I went down to the local mall to buy tickets, but they had sold out. I was sad. Awww.

My dog, whose name was ACTUALLY Fido, (technically Phideaux because my family is hilarious) LITERALLY DIED while I was at a concert. It was a Sugar Ray/Goldfinger/Save Ferris triple bill, I believe.

The "Friends" soundtrack was the first record I ever owned and listened to. Were there good songs on it? I feel like there were! I'm not going to google this because memory is MORE FUN, but didn't the Pretenders cover "Angel of the Morning"? And there was a Lou Reed song that was pretty great to a 12 year-old? And…

I'd just graduated high school. The world was opening up its gates to me, and soon I would conquer it. Women were waiting. Money was waiting. THE WORLD was waiting. And throughout this period, as I stood poised to take on the world, the Baha Men played from every single speaker in the country.

I'm so happy music is free now!

I'm going to go ahead and say something now. And I'm quite possibly going to take a LOT of shit for it, but here goes:

I met James Marsden once, on the set of the cinematic triumph called 'Sugar and Spice'. Now I wish I could go back in time and STEAL HIS LIFE.

I'm SO GLAD "tits" as an adjective is coming back. It means super great. Tits are super great. IT JUST MAKES SENSE.

I WAS the spelling bee champion of my elementary school in both 4th and 6th grades. Don't ask me about 5th. It still hurts…

-ALSO THOSE YES. Thank you.

I try not to wish harm upon others, but I'm GLAD they all died of AIDS.

I get laid PRETTY FREQUENTLY. Also I really like women.

I've actually been away from Twitter for a week or so, as I started reading BOOKS whilst pooping again. Why do people hate this lady so much? I'm not familiar with her work, (which I assume IS terrible) but isn't most contemporary music pretty awful? Why does she get special negative  treatment?

This isn't exactly on topic, but I worked as a karaoke host for some time and there are certain songs that destroy me. When I hear said songs, the vocals are immediately and totally replaced by the shitty, off-key caterwaulings of my former karaoke regulars. These were people who'd come in week after week only to sing…

I truly believe that 'Weird' Al is the most underrated musical artist of all time.

Before anyone corrects me, please understand I live in an alternate universe in which Elvis Costello once had a racist tirade, and Eric Clapton's aim is true.