The only possible interesting thing that could happen, I think — besides Cochran beating Ozzy in a puzzle duel — would be the remaining Upolo members slowly start to realize that, by sending weak players to Redemption Island against Ozzy, they're all but ensuring their own demise. Not one member on that jury wouldn't…

So is it safe to assume that all the "cuddle buddies" we see in various seasons are probably, most likely, boning?

Er, this Survivor (Classic) review got lumped in with the current season…

It's fascinating. I thought he might have had a decent shot during that rice challenge, since it was more about balance than physical strength or endurance, but Goddamn.

There always seems to be one or two players in each season who are wily/intelligent AND pretty, but for some reason they can't manage to fill out the ranks. This season it's Albert and, arguably, Whitney. But last year's Nicaragua had players like Brenda, whom I hated but who constantly impressed me with her play, and…

I remember seeing "The Bizarro Jerry" on a rerun last year, and being ASTOUNDED at how it fit three of the most memorable plots into the same episode. That montage with Kramer going to work is one of the funniest things I think the show ever did.

This.

Maybe I'm giving in to Albert's handsome charms (what does this MEAN??), but he's impressed me with his stoicism and intelligence. He had the right idea, wanting to vote Dawn off this week. And his immediate "I don't buy it" during Ozzy's absurd performance at Redemption Island proved how smart he is.

I agree with all this. Jim was one of my favorite players until this week, when his ego exploded in an all-out storm.

To be honest, I found him annoying as fuck but also sort of fascinating. He's gotta be a sad, sad man. All that sycophantic nonsense has got to be him desperately compensating for the fact that he's a failure.

I bet Mikayla, for one, could've climbed that tree like a beast. But you're right. I think chicks like Elyse are cast BECAUSE the producers suspect she'll flirt her way through and never play the actual game.

Pretty sure the rule is that only Coach can claim it. But, of course, he can always agree to give it to Sophie or Albert before a council in which they think they might be ousted.

Yeah, Elyse was outright annoying, especially during the duel interview, where she — like so many pretty contestants — seemed offended that anyone would dare not fawn over her constantly.

Or maybe it's because the hot chicks don't actually play the game?

The best part of Brandon's Tribal Council tirade was when he said that even minor lies still amount to "lasciviousness." God knows what word he intended there, but man, it's beautiful that the very word he misused thoroughly describes his own greatest weakness.

When I saw that preview, my first thought was that Savaii will decide to throw the challenge in order to fuck with "free agent" Ozzy. But that would never happen.

That flexible harlot.

This would've been a great plan, but remember that, for the moment, Ozzy is "providing" for them and still playing well in challenges.

Good call! I'll check it out. Thanks.

The first time I learned to really appreciate Forte was as "The Actor" in Flight of the Conchords.