Conan The Barbarian. A three-out-of-five schlocky b-movie, but exciting and enjoyably bombastic experience that really nails the source material. The original theatrical version was well paced, and focused on keeping the pace quick. The new cut (which, regrettably, seems to be the only thing available)…

Conan The Barbarian. A three-out-of-five schlocky b-movie, but exciting and enjoyably bombastic experience that really nails the source material. The original theatrical version was well paced, and focused on keeping the pace quick. The new cut (which, regrettably, seems to be the only thing available)…

…and, finally, the bartender says: "I thought you meant 12 inches from the ground!"

…and, finally, the bartender says: "I thought you meant 12 inches from the ground!"

"There was nothing in Al Capone's Vault, but it wasn't Geraldo's fault…"

"There was nothing in Al Capone's Vault, but it wasn't Geraldo's fault…"

Of course not.
I'm sure this point has been made in this thread (I don't want to plow through it), but it's pretty simple - the theater is not in control of the content of the movies, and this is well known to any functioning adult before they pay for a ticket.

Fish Police: SVU?

@Someone Think of the Children

Mastering Over-exposure 214

Santa: "We'll go in the old fashioned way…"

Dammit, I wanted to post on the MST3K thread, not the guy who failed to first thread.

"Joel, is this going to be a snuff film?"

"Satanic Attacks - Next 3 Miles"
Sponsored by the Glenville Elks

Ving Rhams - "…Going from fighting to racing is a big leap…we need a hook."
"Yeah…you've got screaming death wagons, armed to the teeth with rockets and machine guns, driven by convicted felons, trying to blow each other up; Where's the zazz?"

When that movie came out, I had a real axe to grind with alternative music in general, and the RHCP in specific, so I really liked seeing Anthony Kiedis get shot in the foot.

@Turtlehead

What's the difference between a moose and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones?

Who is Glen Ballard?
Fuck you. That's who he is. You see his watch? It cost more than your car.

I'm eating lunch while I watch this-
-First, the bird with the "Fuck you" call, then this - you're trying to kill me.