They run the funnel cake fryer.

Rubber Man will return in "American Horror Story; GOP Primary '16".

After 2 chapters of "Pygmy", I put it down and said "Never again".

You sure have a purdy mouth, Van Der Beek.

"Audiences are flipping for Dolphin Tale 2!"

It's the long con. 2016 is right around the corner and they need youth votes.

All I remember from "Man on Fire" is Dakota Fanning endlessly yelling "CREASY!!!" as if it were a contest to outdo the kid from "Shane".

Don't ask where the fuzzy dice wound up.

Sit on it, Ruth.

Yea, but Britney is like, a great-grandmother now. Wouldn't it behoove her to tie a cinder block to her feet and jump into Lake Buena Vista?

On the first day, the Andrews Sisters were created…

Why, do the mods have something against the Polish?

Poor kid just can't catch a break.

St. Anger? It all makes sense now.

Carried out like Whitney Houston?

Perhaps he will fight the Brawny paper towel guy for absorption supremacy.

"Get off my HMO!"

His pockets are full of sugar.

If he's still alive five years from now, I'm taking up an oxycodone habit. That must be the secret.

I'm going to buy a bottle of really good scotch that I will only open on the day Limbaugh drops dead.