Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.

Chicken necks?

I knew the Stonecutters were responsible for that Entourage episode!!

*Votes for Dear Catastrophe Waitress to move up a couple spots.*

I'll buy another pair!….oh wait, I needed those, I really did.

Not my hot plate, I only had two payments left!

Hall of Famer Whitey Ford on the field now…

Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.

Disco Hitler does NOT advertise.

I only have to press "Y"?! Wellll Ms. Doesn't Find Me Attractive Sexually Anymore, guess who just tripled their productivity?

Goodbye to You is a damn great pop song. Michelle Branch, we hardly knew ye. Come back and do battle with TayTay!

Or competitive naumachias!

Whiplash is by far my favorite. I listen to the soundtrack daily to induce panic attacks that I haven't practiced my rudiments. #notmytempo

Everything in life becomes garbage when you're a teenager. I'm literally ageist against teens. Good call on The Raid 2 man. Awesome flick.

We'll need some MREs to deal with these MRAs.

He made his choice…and the album is great! Just no songs about blow jobs though that I can figure yet.

Godzilla was definitely good, but after Pacific Rim, I can't see giant monsters without asking when the Jaeger is gonna show up and hit Zilla and the MUTOs with a cruise ship.

I was more entertained by X-Men, but that's cuz I'm an X-Men nerd and already loved all the characters. The movie was pure fan service for me. I really like Guardians too, but I had to learn a bunch of new names and faces and I DONT LIKE CHANGE WAAHHHH

Fuck yes to Blue Ruin…one of the best indies of the year.

Guardians is the best version of the Marvel formula of "Superheros try to get blah-di-blah power source from unstoppable evil space-baddie and said heroes come together to beat baddie and hundreds of nameless henchmen back into space where a bigger baddie is mad at the outcome…also Samuel L. Jackson". Well they messed…