Let me ask you something: how you think it's gonna end? You think they're gonna be like "Goddamn, he was right!" The job is the fucking job.

My ignorance has been exposed.

I'm on an airplane. I am a big dude. Another big dude is seated next to me. "Les Miserables" is on the in-flight movie. Tears started at "I Dreamed a Dream", resumed and evolved into gentle sobs at "Bring Him Home", "On My Own" and "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables". Hours of disconcerted stares and uncomfortable shifting…

Minus Waterworld?! Surely you meant The Postman. And who is Kevin Reynolds? The best boy or key grip on Waterworld?

People woke up at the crack of dawn to boil coffee and build sets to make DEATHBED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE.

He probably saw how "Cutthroat Island" did and said "nahhh".

More of a bragblehum.

No, this is an appropriate fight to pick. Her description of the film as: "a clunky, poorly acted movie arguably intended for adults but embraced by kids who just didn’t know better" is 100% accurate. As for the other movies you sarcastically suggest will be coming soon in this feature: only Top Gun wasn't initially…

I remember thinking as a kid that Seal was the name of a group and not a person, mostly due to the Boyz-II-Men style multi-voiced "Bye-eye-yaas" in the song's intro.

If by "absolute riot" you meant "absolute brilliance", then I'm with you.

Shannon was hands-down the best part of "Revolutionary Road". The whole movie needed to be about him, "As Good As It Gets"-style.

Throw in Malcolm McDowell for good glowering measure.

Great stuff. This feels like it should be on the DVD extras: "Van Alden's Journal", or like those AMC Braking Bad emails I used to get with Hank's "Reports from the Field", or whatever they were.

GA-RIPPIN' YOUR PILL-OH TIEEYETE

"Comically villainous" - Jerry Jones.

This will fall under the category of "randomly repulsive with occasional flashes of hilarity".

Ever since the fallout of Cop Out (and to a lesser extent Zack and Miri), Smith is the king of setting the bar low and being pleasantly surprised when people give him positive feedback.

By "white supremacy" you mean which mountain has the best powder, right?

Especially those where you can't believe what happens next.

But each time you fool around you get progressively closer to the sex. Then when you actually have sex, that's the equivalent to a penultimate episode.