Apatow rule #3: Pad film with at least 20 minutes of adorable interactions with my kids.

@avclub-924164c1d98466f693f4455f4ce27bd5:disqus corrected me; it was Birdman of Alcatraz. I would have checked, but I'm making a concerted effort to comment on stuff based purely on my own memory without resorting to Google. But if I'm ever unsure, I use this little guy: "?"

Wish this movie was instead about Johnson and Wahlberg working as goons.

Hahaha! Yeah, and you could also say that this film hit a Wahl!…or…it sunk like The Rock? Or, it has no "muscle" with critics…uhh…

"This is disappointing. I was somehow looking forward to this despite the involvement of Michael Bay."

"Be Cool" comes to mind.

I always thought "The Rock" was supposed to have been Bay's "passion piece", since his dad directed "Escape From Alcatraz" or something? Incidentally, that was one of my favorite movies growing up. But now that I'm not 13 I look bad and see many flaws. Sigh, hindsight.

But Vaas is way more cunning and diabolical than how the Rock's character sounds in the review. But you bring up a good topic: Vaas casting potentials!

"I ate the bones" is a sickening reminder that we are consuming the deceased flesh of a formerly living creature whenever we chow down on some delicious yard bird.

That's not that bad at all. Didja bone down eventually?

Yeah holding your ears and screaming when the waitress asks for your drink order is usually not the best ice breaker.

So you're one of them good 'ol boys? I hope this isn't the day you die.

So you're one of them good 'ol boys? I hope this isn't the day you die.

I dated the internet for about a month. She was into some weird shit, man.

Emails from them are disqusting.

Jeahb him with a spear.

Jeahb him with a spear.

Perhaps Stark Aerospace buys out Audi from the German owners at some point, and Tony retro-fits his Audi with his own specs, making it the most valuable car in the world?

Thank you for linking to an un-listenable song.

How about Scooty Puff Jr. in Futurama?