(Slow clap.)

I have to admit, the bullying and the shitty line to the girl really bother me. Reacher is never like that in the books. Seriously. He might kill people, but he's rarely impolite to anyone but the bad guys. He's actually quite respectful when he first meets anyone.

I have to admit, the bullying and the shitty line to the girl really bother me. Reacher is never like that in the books. Seriously. He might kill people, but he's rarely impolite to anyone but the bad guys. He's actually quite respectful when he first meets anyone.

"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If…

"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If…

Idris Elba would have been great as Reacher.

Idris Elba would have been great as Reacher.

This is my kind of fanfic. OK. Here we go.

This is my kind of fanfic. OK. Here we go.

As a fan of both series, I'd have to say they would (sadly) have no reason to fight. Parker is too smart and pragmatic to go up against a guy like Reacher, and Reacher doesn't go out of his way to fight guys like Parker.

As a fan of both series, I'd have to say they would (sadly) have no reason to fight. Parker is too smart and pragmatic to go up against a guy like Reacher, and Reacher doesn't go out of his way to fight guys like Parker.

Laughed until tears came at the pepper spray sequence. Jane would, of course, have pepper spray in her bathrobe. Two cans.

Laughed until tears came at the pepper spray sequence. Jane would, of course, have pepper spray in her bathrobe. Two cans.

True. Dads will almost never blame their own daughters.

True. Dads will almost never blame their own daughters.

"It tastes like feet!"

"It tastes like feet!"

Damn, I was hoping the Objectivists would have showed up to complain how nobody here really understands Ayn Rand.

Damn, I was hoping the Objectivists would have showed up to complain how nobody here really understands Ayn Rand.

My favorite thing about Serenity? We finally got to see how Mal could be genuinely scary; how he could be a guy the Alliance would actually worry about. In Firefly, we got to see a lot of his likeable, funny side — and I know, there's a whole school of thought that says that's because Inara was with them — but in…