You, @avclub-a93a879594c13c12a83fd45ab289a022:disqus  are truly a man of wisdom and sophistication.

Seriously, who gives a shit if they know how to talk to boys?? We're not asking them to talk. Hell, I know several I wish would forget how to talk to boys..

She has got to do something with Maya Rudolph. It would be just like that awesome record Minnie Ripperton would've made with Quincy but never got the chance. Except funny. And with no music.

Chupacabras make kick ass police detectives. Fuckin' swooping in on their thunderbird n' shit is fuckin' righteous!

Oh, and malaria. Lots of malaria.

Oh…I thought TV Tropes were a snack food. Sorta like pizza rolls.

When you make execrable shows with characters no one can relate to, how surprising is it that people will prefer execrable shows featuring people that at least look like them (or someone they know)? Then, when the networks realize that such shows are cheap as dirt to make, how surprising is it that they quickly flood…

Duck Dynasty is only understandable when you realize it's a traditional sitcom with no sets to build, half the writers and no professional actors. It's so clearly scripted, and the scripts have nice little twenty-three minute arcs. It's family-oriented, clean and full of zany characters.

I alaways think it's talking about that movie with Lou Gossett, Jr. in the ridiculous prosthetics. But then I remember that was Enemy Mine.

It's stupid because it's run by Canadians. And Canadians are essentially what you get when you take people from Mississippi and freeze them.

I want to have a fangasm.

But that's bullshit revisionism. WWII wasn't in HD. That's why the guns were so inaccurate.

I thought Roots was your lame version of Nike?

Beating up on the Frenchies is always entertaining.

The Pilfered Pheasant Affair
The Who-Left-The-Gate-Open Argument
That Thing With Those Two Drunk Guys Down in Brockton

Back when I was in school we didn't have history classes because it hadn't happened yet.

Uhhh…it's not Netflix that has Dick van Dyke on streaming. It's his prostate.

It was accidental.

Thomas Sullivan Magnum.

Well, he is dead…