When I first saw that I thought it said "Masturbation gifts" and I thought "somebody should have thought of that a long time ago.

1. Laugh
2. Love
3. Fuck
4. Drink liquor

Schraders of the Lost Skank

You know what's scary about that picture? That huge chicken on the right is in the process of swallowing some dude's head…and no one's noticing!

…and forty years ago is like…forty years ago. sheesh!

What kind of monster? The world has been waiting for a decade…

Looks like a big Doug Henning show in Vegas. The Metallica of Kill Em All would have taken one look at that stage and flames and shit, pissed on it, and walked out.

Saw Widespread Panic (with Jimmy Herring) there. Thought that was about the perfect band for Red Rocks.

A friend of mine told me that all the adults in the arena were screaming that at the end of the Justin Beiber concert he took his daughter to.

How much positive can you say about a band that, ten years later, still haven't figured out what kind of monster it is?

I love fucking roofs. Just think how much more pleasant our society would be if every building had one…

I heard that as "Cloudy with a Chance of SQL"

That boils down to

How 'bout just More Balls

They charge for rape now?

I do miss Phipps, the evenhanded bastard.

Who doesn't?

I'm sorry I'm so lowbrow but I'd watch the fuck out of an hour-and-a-half of food puns.

It just doesn't matter.

He's motivated by what all men are ultimately motivated by: blowjobs.