Yeah, me too. Me too.

Yeah, me too. Me too.

@avclub-808e22af6c33eea22608f30cef458844:disqus Of course we do. This is Star Trek.

@avclub-808e22af6c33eea22608f30cef458844:disqus Of course we do. This is Star Trek.

You guys are going to be surprised, but I have top-secret inside information from a hobo I bribed to say it that this movie is actually a feature-length adaptation of "Darmok", with Idris Elba playing the role of Jean-Luc Picard and that clawed phase-beast thing being played by the Cloverfield monster.

You guys are going to be surprised, but I have top-secret inside information from a hobo I bribed to say it that this movie is actually a feature-length adaptation of "Darmok", with Idris Elba playing the role of Jean-Luc Picard and that clawed phase-beast thing being played by the Cloverfield monster.

There were two performances in that movie that were any good: Old Spock and McCoy.

There were two performances in that movie that were any good: Old Spock and McCoy.

I'm pretty sure you just described the ultimate genetic destiny of the English people, actually.

I'm pretty sure you just described the ultimate genetic destiny of the English people, actually.

It felt like one massive intro to the alternate timeline. The "Kirk comes of age" material was just kind of… there, and the villain was also just sort of… there, because there needed to be one.

It felt like one massive intro to the alternate timeline. The "Kirk comes of age" material was just kind of… there, and the villain was also just sort of… there, because there needed to be one.

Nicholas Meyer is still around. Can they get him to do Abrams Trek 3, please? He still remains the only person to have ever made an unambiguously great Trek film.

Nicholas Meyer is still around. Can they get him to do Abrams Trek 3, please? He still remains the only person to have ever made an unambiguously great Trek film.

Oh, sploosh.

Oh, sploosh.

They also breed uncontrollably. They're like rabbits without any features.

They also breed uncontrollably. They're like rabbits without any features.

You beat me to it! Yes, this should just be an adaptation of "Arena". Get some of those Hunger Games quatloos.

You beat me to it! Yes, this should just be an adaptation of "Arena". Get some of those Hunger Games quatloos.