I hear they also like to roam the land. But on the plus side they dont want to upset the apple cart, or cause any harm

I remember the poster for Undercover Brother where they gave Denise Richards a big ass..and it wasnt Charlie Sheen

Threw Bobby Brown out of my bar for having sex on the floor of the ladies bathroom

Apologize to Dick Cheney at once

Did she decorate her exterior by hanging dead poutry in the windows and throwing all her food out onto the sidewalk?

Well it wouldnt include cheeseburgers….

Being the most perfectly formed turd in the bowl is nothing to be proud of

For me that was 10 minutes ago. I feel dirty and somewhat ashamed

No it was just too clever. "Smack my Bitch Up" was on the album "Fat of the land" by Prodigy

What is he apologizing to me for, he never touched me and I don't care about him.

Mine's going next to my Dale Earnhart clock

Much as I have enjoyed the slow, painful death of dignity - I still cannot wait for the obligatory "sex in the hot tub" episode

If they really wanted to sound British that would be "knickers down in a Mini Metro with your feet sticking out the side windows".

She couldnt afford to pay $5000…so they took her for 2 million?

The painting pretty much resembles my recollection of Vegas…both of them consist of copious amounts of vomit

Thank God he was wearing his codpiece, or else the tiger would have tried to eat his cod instead of his head

yeah lets ask Jennifer Aniston…she knows all about that

A friend just gave me the entire twilight collection to read (i think…3 books?). Its still glowering at me from the corner of my room.

That's the one - he could give her crabs

careful, he spits when he's mad