Is this a different Wolfe than the one who wrote The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test?

Traumatized the fuck out of me as a child.

I'll be wandering around leveling up my Mon, so everyone will be slightly underleveled, and often at a type disadvantage for the area, I'll get down to either one badly typed survivor to make my way back to the Pokémon Center, or a team of exhausted Mon all at 1-10 HP, and some jackass that I somehow missed when…

It'd be easier to figure out if we knew which Marvel movie.

In 1997, I was a junior in college. Get off my fucking lawn.

Kids don't even fucking learn how to spell in schools anymore. They're increasingly abandoning any pretense of being something other than kid jail.

Seems more like an ARG than an MMO.

Yes, fine, but why do you now need to beat the shit out of my ONE remaining Pokémon, who has 1 HP, costing me thousands of Pokémon Moneys to do that?

Chris Evans, you're doing good brand management. I think more highly of you after these kinds of revelations. Please don't ever screw it up.

It really genuinely always comes down to "because you can".

Pokémon battling doesn't even make the Top 100 of things I like about Pokémon. I fall ASLEEP during Pokémon battles.

Another thing I hate about Pokémon games - I'm walking as far away from you as possible, I'm riding my bike, and I sure as hell ain't lookin' at you, so don't fucking charge across the screen and then blame ME for starting an unskippable fight I'm guaranteed to lose.

But you only bought them ONCE.

It sounds pretty 100% great.

Look, I hate MMOs as much as the next guy. I've only ever enjoyed the first six months of Warhammer: Age of Reckoning and my City of Villains team, the Fonts of Evil, but a Pokémon MMO, unless it wants to take a serious risk of being a COLOSSAL failure, HAS to cater to the people who are collectors, crafters,…

Pokémon as it exists now creates a world full of possibilities, interesting ecosystems, and cool things to do and see, and then forces you into the same rock-paper-scissor cockfighting plot every game.

I predict Hogwarts would be Lord of the Flies within 72 hours of a Harry Potter MMO going gold.

Pokémon MMO.

This is normally where I'd link to Catherynne Valente's Killswitch story, but she's apparently taken it down, and I refuse to link to the creepypasta sites that stole it.

Hilariously, it's about 50/50 Xx_Edgelord_xX vs PuppiesAndRainbows.