WORST. SON. EVER!

Dave's rocking the reverse mullet these days.  That's kind of weird.

Dave's rocking the reverse mullet these days.  That's kind of weird.

As a worthless parasite, scrounging in the dirt next to your near-omnipotent boot heel, how best may I serve you?  Shall I fellate you whilst you complete yet another masterwork of the horror comic genre?  Or perhaps fan you with palm fronds as you carefully maintain your white trash goatee?  Please, Massa, I'd be…

As a worthless parasite, scrounging in the dirt next to your near-omnipotent boot heel, how best may I serve you?  Shall I fellate you whilst you complete yet another masterwork of the horror comic genre?  Or perhaps fan you with palm fronds as you carefully maintain your white trash goatee?  Please, Massa, I'd be…

I heard Gary Johnson was a parasite, too.

I heard Gary Johnson was a parasite, too.

What's truly baffling is why the lead-in photo for this story is one of Grima Wormtongue.

What's truly baffling is why the lead-in photo for this story is one of Grima Wormtongue.

It's all God's fault.  DAMN HIM.

It's all God's fault.  DAMN HIM.

How does Aaron Pittman stay so fat in the post-apocalypse?  These people are all too clean and healthy.  This show is Martha Stewart does the Apocalypse.  There's no electricity or civilized society, but there are laundered v-necks just LYING AROUND EVERYWHERE.

How does Aaron Pittman stay so fat in the post-apocalypse?  These people are all too clean and healthy.  This show is Martha Stewart does the Apocalypse.  There's no electricity or civilized society, but there are laundered v-necks just LYING AROUND EVERYWHERE.

When did Barney Stinson start working for MTV?

When did Barney Stinson start working for MTV?

I wonder how much ass the guy in the Big Bird costume gets.

I wonder how much ass the guy in the Big Bird costume gets.

What I liked most were the times they said Bro.  Classic.

What I liked most were the times they said Bro.  Classic.

This index is just about the worst feature on the AV club.  In the mildly irritating to unbearable range.