Post-Antebellum

WHEN YA GORILLA DIES

- Melania Trump

Sorry, but all that remains of civilization will be a VHS of Hello, Dolly!

My favorite line is one I didn't even notice when I watched the movie itself but when I was in a community theater production.

Well, 2016 ain't over yet.

I've heard the same story, but with Marlene Dietrich asking, "What happened to my beautiful beast?"

They can't all be Ferdinand Lyle.

When you someone gay it.

I believe the 45th President of the United States, when asked if he wore a wig, once replied, "If I needed a rug, don't you think I could afford something that looks better than this?"

I'm 36 and married, and my mom still cuts my hair.

I still have a Myspace account, but I haven't visited it in years, and I don't even remember the password.

Wot's all this, then?

"Look at you, Hawkeye. You used to be so cocky. You were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me a warped, frustrated old man. What are you but a warped, frustrated young man?"

I will not have such things said against the future of television comedy!

2016: "What's that? Did I just hear a volunteer?"

They used to present the honorary Oscars at the main ceremony, but switched to the separate event a few years ago.

Norman Lloyd's still kicking around, but he was never a star.

That's no way to talk about Mrs. EmptyBox!

McConnell isn't in the line of succession. The President Pro Tem of the Senate is, though, and that's Orrin Hatch.