There is an owl in my backyard that makes a noise like an angry banshee. Last week I beat it to death with a stick, then last night I heard that noise again.

The only surprise to me is that a dog can spontaneously become a cat.

The only surprise to me is that a dog can spontaneously become a cat.

Clearly the best place to hide your hash from border cops is to bake it into hashbrowns because Texas doesn't do irony.

Clearly the best place to hide your hash from border cops is to bake it into hashbrowns because Texas doesn't do irony.

Level 8 is illiterates. But you seem to be able to write without the ability to read, so you you must be SuperJesus. EXEMPTED!

Level 8 is illiterates. But you seem to be able to write without the ability to read, so you you must be SuperJesus. EXEMPTED!

As I was plowing through that series on Netflix Instant, I seriously considered changing my username to THE PEOPLE WHO BURNED ME.

As I was plowing through that series on Netflix Instant, I seriously considered changing my username to THE PEOPLE WHO BURNED ME.

Oops! That's a typo.
It's supposed to be "Serves 8O".

Oops! That's a typo.
It's supposed to be "Serves 8O".

I can't be the only one here who would pay top dollar to see a Sweet Clam / Chris Brown cage match wherein Clam reads a TI just before Round 1 and proceeds to thrash the everloving fuck out of the Human Urinal Cake that is Brown.

I can't be the only one here who would pay top dollar to see a Sweet Clam / Chris Brown cage match wherein Clam reads a TI just before Round 1 and proceeds to thrash the everloving fuck out of the Human Urinal Cake that is Brown.

TODAY'S RECIPE:

TODAY'S RECIPE:

Deliver me lumber!

Deliver me lumber!

As a teen I used to daydream about calling my band                  . Just a space, or a pause (when saying it out loud). Firstly because the name couldn't be seen on an album cover or venue marquee (TONIGHT:                 ), but I could still claim it was there and that's the name of my band goddammit. Partially,…

As a teen I used to daydream about calling my band                  . Just a space, or a pause (when saying it out loud). Firstly because the name couldn't be seen on an album cover or venue marquee (TONIGHT:                 ), but I could still claim it was there and that's the name of my band goddammit. Partially,…

RUMBLINBUMBLINSTUMBLIN