Take twelve drinks for every instance of a record review using the words "half-deflated chrome balloons".

How importunate.

Ewww. Cheese blood.

All that did was make it obvious the key to that unique Pepsi taste was just caramel coloring.

I put my American Express card payment on my second AmEx card.
Next month #1 pays off #2, and so on, back and forth, until they cancel each other out and I ma debt-free without paying a thing.

Not replacing Williams with will.i.am is about the smartest thing ESPN has done in a long time.

If Farmville accomplishes nothing else, there is at least a chance that 50+-year-old parents will finally stop nagging their gamer offspring because they now finally understand the satisfaction gained by LEVELLING UP.

I retract my former snarkiness in solidarity with a fan of a perennial underdog!

Dear Netflix,

The most talented member of the Doors was the bass guitarist.
GET IT?

Streaming just vomited forth about 40 reality shows last week.
We said "quality" programming, not "any" programming, jerks!

My name is Miller and I do not follow NFL football.

I can't possibly imagine what movie they show at the Super 8.

Country and Western?

Yes, but how do you feel about taxes?

And Fox is just smart enough to rerun seasons 14 - 22 indefinitely and sell off the rest.

(Pukes)

(Pukes up recently eaten puke)

I salute your shitshorts, sir and/or madam!

The King's Peach.