Not for a gorillion dollars.

I would like to see him still grant interviews, but refuse to answer any questions, motioning to an assistant when the interviewer gets frustrated and rises to leave.
" Mr Von Trier has indicated to me that he would like you to stay and keep asking questions."

If my name was Richard I would legally change it to Really Really Really Rich.
That way everyone would know that I couldn't possibly be any more of a Dick than I already am.

You're no Wesley Willis.

I must be easily entertained because I've enjoyed the whole run so far and am still riveted mid-S5. The LaGuerta/Angel drama is starting to get old, though. I just like the premise and the leads enough that I'll suspend boatlods of disbelief for this show.

Yeu are steupid!

He's right! There are $1000 checks falling out of the sky! People are just too lazy to bend over and pick them up. And somehow, he convinced himself that as long as something isn't against the law, it can't be immoral. I sincerely hope he didn't pass that little nugget of wisdom on to his kids.

Enjoy your leathery sack!

I would almost be willing to sit through the first 3/4 of each episode, just as long as the last 1/4 always has Cook giving the audience exatly what they have come to expect out of a good Cook performance: decapitation by shovel.

I say they go intra-menstrual and hire that squealing little pixie away from Ponytail.

If you've ever been killed in the face, you'll know that's the best way to be killed.

I JERK OFF WHENEVER I SEE BILL BENNETT

Whenever anyone asks me 'What time is it?' I look at my watch, hoping against hope that it's fo' thirtay. It usually isn't and I proceed to tell them the boring-ass time.

You have crazy eyes and Montypark is a landmass.
Was that so difficult?

@AVCCC - The penultimate word in this sentence is clitosaurus, assdouche.

I will pray* a prayer-y** prayer*** for all who are unfortunately mustachioed.

Maria Bello is hat.

You're also not supposed to try and eat your own head, but Sorkin doesn't play by the rules.

Of course you do!

Goosio, you are a friend to Maltese children everywhere.