I downloaded some vinyl siding from sears.com and it just appeared on the side of my house. NO-HASSLE INSTALLATION.

On the other hand, Radio Gaga is all we hear.

Excuse me. I am lost. Could you please direct me to the nearest restroosm?

"40% of your household food budget should be spent on dairy products."
- the 1953 American Dairy Council wall calendar

She has two WHAT NOW?

G o ta ke a fl ying le ap!

HEY
I used to play bass for The Lightly-Used Egg Chairs.

"There's absolutely NO part of your body that I won't put in my mouth!"

Katy used to be a proper little Christian until she realized she was smokin' hot.
Then all God could see was her ass jigglin' as Katy turned her back and walked away…
Good choice, Katy!

In case of Apocalyptic Viral Outbreak
1. Find a weapon. (Thanks, Hollywood!)
2. Put on some shoes. (Thanks again, Hollywood!)
3. Fill your bathtub before the water supply gets contaminated.
4. Gather food, water and batteries. Locate possible light and heat sources.
5. Wait for death.

Internet Gaming no longer exists
I thought I was playing co-op Portal 2 but according to the chart I'm not.

Duchovny with a mullet is your everlasting reward.

The rest of us heathens go to Oprah Hell.
I don't think I need to tell you what happens there.

The kind of person who features herself on the cover of her own magazine EVERY MONTH has an ego which cannot be measured by any known method.

SPLUNGE

Eat laser, Porkins.

You can say it until you're blue in the face, I still don't remember Silicon Knights.

@Neptuny
Thats a relief! HETERO IDENTITY RECONFIRMED

"I am no longer infected."

Marketing is to blame. 20 years ago Bridesmaids would have been called a 'comedy', but that isn't new and hip enough for today's modern woman. We need some kind of snappy portmanteau!