Hey guys/gals, this awful, horrendous track just made the billboard 100. You really shouldn't pay it any attention or you're encouraging this kind of nonsense.

I'd prefer Schall or Mirman.

Completely unrelated to the post, but scan your site or something A.V. Club. My anti-virus has kicked me off here over twenty times in the past hour.

Create a new compelling character?
Fuck that!
Clones for everyone! You get a clone and you get a clone……

We should pick a screenshot that properly shows the innovative comedy our program strives to achieve…..nah, boobs

Ok…I don't think i want you speaking at my funeral.

Be yourself even if you have to take some flak. Not all, but most of the bands I like nobody has heard about and they assume I'm a hipster, even though I hate hipsters with a passion. I like the bands I think are good, who cares what anyone else thinks.

He was against healthcare.
You only live once, and he really wanted to stress that.

Girls just love it when you beg, abandoning all sense of masculinity and pride.

News directly from, and about, her.

There are PLENTY of people that can go before him on my list.

I never liked Gaga when she first came out, but I never gave a shit one way or the other. Now every piece of news I hear about her is some kind of combination of smug douchery, hipster/fashion nonsense, and twitter bullshit. This woman became really annoying.

Do they team up to take down those meddling kids and their stupid dog too?

Talking is the new reading! We must put an end to this nonsense once and for all.

If he hasn't seen the Wire he better not have wasted time watching Prometheus.

"Wait until you see what happens to Idris Elba's character."

Smug rich white man in leather armchair sipping brandy and smoking a cigar:

I remove my cap for respect of the fallen.
Now excuse me, my private browsing window is waiting.

I'm a man who doesn't understand women, which is a redundant statement, so I feel it is my obligation to speak on behalf of all females and their…..(whispers) lady parts.

Plug it up! Plug it up!
Plug it- Oh god, what are you doing dude?!