i dont give a fuck about tom cruise (like he's the only nutjob in hollywood?), and ive only seen him in a few roles, but he was excellent in magnolia and collateral

never really got into the beatles
i think the stones are better

Good for him. He's one of the lucky few. He doesn't have to work. He can do what he wants.

and the government made a cancer ray to kill bill hicks because he was lifting up the curtain for 10's of people

Maybe Nicholas Cage likes to do movies that pay him a lot of money to be campy. Maybe he thinks it's fun. he's a fucking actor. you work at some job that you don't respect artistically, why can't an actor? he pretends to do things for a huge amount of money. Why all the god damn useless bullshit opinions?

Excuse me, my flesh and blood brother Alec…
I know that you are incredibly successful and incredibly rich, and you know that I'm fucked. I admit, all this praying didn't do shit. I'm crapping on newspapers because they reposessed my bathroom. I need like $60 grand until I can get back on my feet. I left that decidant…

I wish entertainment news would just go away. If you don't like an actor or a movie, why the fuck make the leap to hating it? I mean, if you don't find it offensive and you aren't pretentious enough to say that bad taste offends you, why put the fucking effort into it.

This meta word flakes my foreskin too.

3 of the greatest stand ups ever all said organized religion is bullshit: carlin, hicks, stanhope
all are hilarious, especially stanhope

i shop at a lot of 7-11s and mosques. should i reconsider getting the Mohammad credit card from VISA?

You mean he's one of the people who truly wants to die? If you jump off a building, it isn't a cry for help. Of course he's sad he saved him. Maybe you should be more specific, and moreempathetic to the sad fucks who don't want to live anymore. And what was your point anyway?

Do you write your jokes with a turd too?

u b watchin leno? why do you watch so much fucking TV? fucking do anything but just sit there all day and watch tv. you're watching Leno. You should be masturbating more. You should do drugs. Suck dicks from craigslist. Stare at the GD wall. but don't watch that much tv

did you ever notice that a rosary looks like child sized anal beads? and boy, i thought the priests stuffed some wacky things into their brains!

Even if it was the best polo shirt ever, better than a Polo Olympics polo shirt, it would still be orders of magnitude from being awesome.

The end of that first paragraph should have read (damn no editing or preview feature!) "civil liberties DUE TO Alberto Gonzalez"….

Yeah I heard about it early this year.

How's your life?

"Offensive material doesn't bother me. Unfunny material does."

There was never an attic.