…and we're about to find out who every single one of them are!

Split the difference and be with a good friend's trophy wife.

Mainstream success?

Planetary orbit is a flat circle.

So do I…

You do realize what site you're on…?

But he's the best man they've got!

F! B! I! agents?

Klugman is Dolomite

You know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

Pluto is like someone's memory of a planet, and the planet's fading.

I started murdering random people in dark alleys instead. I can do all of that without the expense of specialized schooling or a long period of apprenticeship.

If my hand moved that fast, I'd never leave the house…

It's Flag On the Moon. Of course this is a detail he'd be concerned about!

"Hanging chads" takes on a new meaning.

In fact, it's cold as hell.

And the microphones attached to them.

SHAMON!

Is this one of those Twitter bot posts?

This Is What a Realistic (But Still Badass) Martian Astronaut Looks Like!