Perfect Couples
Who wants to talk about Perfect Couples?

BK Contrasts
I had an interesting Burger King experience a while back. Two experiences, really. A couple years ago, I ate a Whopper at a BK in Eugene, OR. I know Oregon is all agrarian and about fresh local produce and shit. The "garden", as Noel put it, was outstanding. The lettuce was fresh and crisp, the…

You Betzler
Didn't Chris Klein go on record as saying he dumped her because he thought she was too fat? What a fuck-head that guy is.

…and neither are you.

Only…
Only interested if it actually stars Gillian Jacobs and Allison Brie.

Adjustment Bureau:
John Slattery did not know he was being filmed.

The first time I used Napster was in fall 2000, in my freshman year dorm room. Ethernet, bitches. Never had to wait more than a few minutes for a song. Then my asshole roommate clogged up my hard drive with a bunch of shitty shit so my computer would barely run then got all pissed when I deleted a lot of it off of,…

Scientology
Are any of the people involved with Glee Scientologists? Seems likely. Anyway, my favorite Elvis story is how, towards the end of his life, Priscilla and Lisa Marie brought him to an auditing session or something and he stormed out of it within minutes exclaiming "Fuck those people! All they want is my…

Where's Firefly?
The Firefly is his penis.

FELICIA DAY?!?!?!?
Felicia Day is a lovely, talented, and charming young woman. I won't deny that I have a bit of a crush on her.

Chalka
Y'all are all missing the point. The point is this: Aly Michalka is really fucking hot and has awesome tits.

CHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANGCHANG!!!!!!

Jules
See, I just don't agree with you on Jules, Todd. In my opinion, the worse she acts, the funnier the show is. It can be like a toned-down version of It's Always Sunny in that way. I find it hilarious (in TV and movies, anyway) when truly detestable people not only get away with their shitty behavior, no one…

I've seen that commercial dozens of times and every time I think it's going to turn out to be one of those Brinks Home Security commercials where the woman's rapist/murderer ex comes smashing through the big picture window.

Be shoppin'
I just wanted to say that O'Neal has been killing it with the Photoshop lately. Keep up the good work!

…and?

You're welcome. I love you.

Two things:
1) Don't care.

I'm also having a hot, naked affair with idiotking!

Lobsters wishes he wrote for the AV Club. If you read his comment closely enough, the jealousy and resentment really jump out.