They really can't. Didn't you hear Nicholas Sparks say he's a better writer than Cormac McCarthy?

Why?

Jeffrey Ross.

A lotta

Motherfuck

Cyndi Lauper could certainly bring back the "always sounds like she's on drugs" appeal of Paula Abdul.

And then…

In the words of Jerri Blank:

I thought Alien 4 was fantastic(ly stupid, hilarious and totally enjoyable). Next to Alien3 it looks like Citizen fucking Kane.

Replace "let" with "make" and I'll forgive you your anti-Hispanic racism.

Rock?
Since when does 30 Seconds To Mars count as rock? I think we can officially retire the word, as it no longer holds any meaning.

So adorable. Thanks, ZMF. My favorite part is when she's being kind of whiny and petulant and the older dude tells Michael that she'll make an excellent American wife.

I'm sure he wouldn't have minded at all if you'd called him "Pussy".

I was always fond of Moustapha Akkad. Always seemed a little out of place next to John Carpenter and Debra Hill.

Hi, Burl! You're my favorite!

Hey…
They can skin all the puppies and kitties they want to, long as they keep the pan-fried pork dumplings and combination fried rice coming.

Personally, I've always been a fan of bleeping. It's always obvious what they're covering up and I think it sounds funny. It worked great on Chappelle's Show.

Oprah dying?
Good to know. Maybe the health of women 30 to 65 will improve after they can no longer use her as their physician.

Not to be a dick or anything, but at least you've got an office to be in at 6:30 AM. Lotsa folks would gladly take your place, probably for a lot less money. Keeps me appreciative (not that what Tobias and Noel are doing wouldn't be more fun, of course).

Neither. FREEDOM fries, motherfucker! Smothered with God-fearing all-American nacho cheese sauce!