except for 80% of the fan favorities

= Earth in pieces

Wish-Granting Genie Heuristics Training

If you were some semi-omnipotent entity stuck granting wishes to idiots, you'd probably screw around with them a bit too

permanent coma FTW

But that’s the thing with cursed magic objects: They’ll get you on the semantics.

Booker is pretty deep into the quagmire of NJ politics, though

covfefe?

sweet summer child…

Can't somebody else do it?

I remember having to masturbate to the blocky, pointy breasts in the original Tomb Raider….

what a pair… of episodes!

It's the poorest people with the smallest carbon footprints who are most vulnerable

BECAUSE THE EMAILS

Can I go back and be part of the 2016 electoral control group?

Yup. Someone from Wyoming gets roughly 70x the proportional representation in the Electoral College as someone from California. Yay democracy!

A Modest Proposal indeed

His party is turning on him,

The only thing that feels better than a line of cocaine is another line of cocaine

Just to put this out there - yes, the CIA was involved in smuggling cocaine into this country, and yes, they have officially admitted it