Dude, Hollywood metaphorically fellating itself is the entire point of the Oscars. How else would rich, famous people remember that they're special?

The closest thing to a coherent explanation I've ever heard from Carter is that he just really, really hated the religious stuff. Which is crazy, because (1) you'd think that would be built into the premise of the show, and (2) it was already pretty present in the first, Carter-helmed season - first implicitly, with…

Seriously! It's like a bunch of guys going "Those assholes! How dare they make our show so awesome!"

Between the time I heard that the show had actually been renewed for a third season and the time when I learned Morgan and Wong wouldn't be coming back for it, I imagined this feverishly awesome series in which Frank Black and his psychic daughter have to fight demons and cultists in the post-apocalyptic Pacific…

Carter basically stumbles drunkenly back into the show, loudly says "Oy! Wot's all this then?", then turns it into X-Files: Only This Time Without All The Icky Aliens And Monsters And Cool Stuff.

It sucks that they wrote her character out like that, but she was never going to be around on the Carter/Johannessen Season 3 anyway, not with Carter's hostility toward, well, everything that worked in Season 2.

I had the exact same response when I saw this for the first time: stunned silence, and a brittle feeling, as if something in me had been broken. I remember thinking, up until the last five minutes, that there was no way they could actually end the world on this show, right…? Not if they'd have any hope to be renewed…?…

Ryan Reynolds's eyes look weirdly squished together in that photograph.

I'd like to imagine that Ricky Gervais has an enormous private screening room in his home in which to watch pristine prints of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian.

I'm sure that everyone in this thread talking so expertly on what does and does not work in a fistfight speaks from years of hard physical training and personal experience.

The phrase you're looking for is "pug-nosed." Little fat man with a pug-nosed face… pug, pug… pug, pug…

I really, genuinely adore Karl Pilkington. If he's for real, I love that he's for real; if he's putting on an act, then he's just a fucking genius. And there's something oddly sweet about him that makes me want to run up to him and give him a hug.

Ha-HAAAAAH! He's MEN-tal! MENNNNN-tal!

You were right the first time. Your golden retriever fucks kids.

You go, radical-talking anime-avatar'd person!

But they won't be in "exactly the same position." They'll be in a shittier position, because the world they'll live in will be even more polluted and fucked up and used up than ours is.

"boys forced to be men in defense of our freedom."

Your parents weren't as obsessed with defining themselves by the pop culture detritus they consume as we are. Thus, they generally allowed you to toddle off and have your own movies, music, etc., while people our age who embrace shitty 80s movies as a core element of their identity feel compelled to press their crap…

He wanted to help you catch that shark!

I park in zones expressly reserved for the loading and unloading of passengers only every time I see Abe Vigoda.