Tim Burton and Johnny Depp need to break the fuck up.

You can find this picture in the dictionary next to the entry for "Shit-Eating Grin."

SPOILER ALERT FOR THE WIRE SEASON THREE

Season 3 never happened. It's just Frank's nightmare hallucination while the world ends.

Franco Franco Franco? Franco Franco Franco Franco Franco Franco Franco, Franco Franco…

Alison Brie looks and sounds like a thirteen-year-old girl who's just inhaled half a tank of helium. If that's what gets you off, there probably need to be court orders keeping you away from playgrounds.

I don't own a car, but this is only because I am very very poor.

Sir Elton looks like the shopkeeper dude from League of Gentlemen there.

I miss that gerbil.

A chorus line of zombie Princess Di's twirling around a gently twirling series of fiery limousines would be fucking GOLD.

Stranger than Fiction was a terrible, terrible movie, but Will Ferrell was pretty good in it.

I have never liked Kevin Smith or any of his films. But, I do think the self-distribution thing is interesting, and if it works, more power to him.

The gays, they don't have TV!

Eh. Kill 'em all and let Doom sort 'em out.

Jesus, Rabin, where's the fucking love? Dull, lifeless recap passed off as analysis, at least one sloppy name mixup ("Maude" for "Marge"? really?), and not even a few "stray observations" at the end of an episode full of memorable quotes? No thoughts on the balancing act the show pulls between representing the…

Kiefer looks like an older version of the weaselly protagonist from Community these days.

Don't hold Scalia's old age dementia against him, urgh.

Well, now that that's over with
Let's just ask ourselves the obvious: when was the first time George paid a call girl to dress up in a gold bikini and feed him bugs?

And incidentally, Sum Guy, if you liked George Bush, you should love Obama. It's not just that he hasn't closed Guantanamo, it's that he's doubled the US military's torture camp at Bagram Air Base while expanding the Bush administration's programs of warrantless surveillance, extrajudicial kidnappings and…

The media doesn't give a shit about it precisely because the media is not, in fact, left-wing. The "left-wing" in America, at this point, is largely limited to Noam Chomsky and isolated groups of socialists and anarchists - i.e., the group of retired booksellers that meet once a week downtown at your local Unitarian…