Wait, right-wing assholes want to hold Obama to his promise to close Gitmo now? SWEET

No, it's the EVIL DICTATOR who was VICTORIOUSLY DEPOSED by our LIBERATING ARMIES OF LIBERATION who then went on and torture-raped everybody to death.

Oprah informs me that complimentary blowjobs are now handed out as part of most school lunch programs.

Dozens of angry Christians, diligently counting each and every teen boob and croch shot.

I like Cake, and I like this new album. SUCK IT, TRYING-TOO-HARD-TO-BE-IRONIC INTERNET SHLUBS

Somewhere chain-mail bikini Leia is imprisoned and feeding him slugs at the Skywalker ranch…

Pre-talkie porn had class.

the prequel trilogy makes a lot more sense
Now that I know he's brain damaged.

Is you takin' notes on a criminal fuckin' conspiracy?

"extended pratfalls and awkward man-child routine"
PAGING MISTER SANDLER

His XFM show should be called "The Karl Pilkington Show, starring Karl Pilkington and a Couple Assholes Who Tagged Along With Him."

It's "The Invention of Lying," right? Everybody loved "The Invention of Lying." Wait, wait, wait! It's "Ghost Town"! Everyone loves him for "Ghost Town"! Or is it "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"? The laffs just keep coming!

"We already know she will never be as funny as Gervais. "

YOU CAN'T FIRE HIM, HE QUITS!

SARAH PALIN, KING OF THE JEWS

I'm pretty sure the AV Club writes its music reviews long before the albums are finished being recorded.

I bet more people would watch TV if the people in the shows were sad pimply nerds instead of hot sexy teens always sexing each other.

"Well, Sorkin is probably going to walk away with an Oscar come February, so who's laughing now?"

I like this whole "it's okay to torture this person, because he's a terrorist, and I know that he's a terrorist because he confessed to being a terrorist, while I was torturing him and telling him I wouldn't stop torturing him until he confessed" routine. If it's good enough for twelfth-century witch-smellers, it's…

Modern Guilt is pretty fucking sweet, man.