Yes, but it's not such a great place to bring your kids.

I agree, I'd be more impressed with a date that currently reads than somebody who once found something to like among the classics and waves that title around like a tattered flag.  Score one for MIB!

Can't wait for the A.V. Club's new feature: Curbstomp Your Enthusiams.

Dear MIB:

My God, the man is still ALIVE?!

I'm not a pathologist, but I imagine that if you're dead, then the epiglottis remains in its default position, the position that creates a path to the trachea.  If the dead body is submerged in a semi-upright position, with head tilted back, then water floods the pharynx via the mouth/nose and ends up in the lungs.

My diagnosis?  A rather nasty drug habit…  CAUSED BY BAD BABYSITTING.

Liked for evocative image.

@avclub-ee188463935a061dee6df8bf449cb882:disqus Yeah, those all sound pretty familiar, along with "strangle yourself with your belt", "stick your hand in the garbage disposal", "pick a knife fight" and "get loaded and then walk into the river/snowstorm/river during a snowstorm".

Yeah, any old benzo will do the trick, assuming you down enough of it.  Xanax + booze + hot water = sleepiness.  Indeed, in my suicidal 20s, sedatives and red wine in a hot bath was my planned exit strategy.

[haunting flute music] For a more complete story on The Wolverine, why not contact the Canadian Wildlife Service in Ottawa?

Lionel Richie IS King Midas.

Simila similibus cynicur.

Jean Teasdale, Jim Anchower, and H-Dog (RIP) are/were always pretty solid.  I also love the conceit of the "Ask A…" advice columns, especially "Ask a Navy SEAL…", "Ask a Frat Brother Who Accidentally Drowned a Pledge…" and "Ask A Chat Room…"

I almost never read The Onion these days, aside from checking in on things like the vox populi, editorial cartoons, and infographics every few months.  I'd say the "columnists" are still pretty strong, especially Jim Anchower, but I agree that the "news stories" rarely have a ton of laughs beyond the headline.

I have two, right where my optic nerves attach to my retinas.  I tried severing the nerves, but that just seemed to make the problem worse.  Suggestions?

Come with me if you want to listen.

So can we assume that your boyfriend was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape?

SPOILER: His hat gets shot off in every episode.

SALT N' PEPA!