Loves me some Jungle Fever, the movie and the forever elusive possibility of dating a black woman. Apparently, there aren't too many black women interested in Star Wars, the musical stylings of CCR, comic books, and microbreweries. Hmm, now that I think about it, not too many white chicks are either. Shit, I'm never…

Sure you're not confusing him with Buck Owens?

Sure you're not confusing him with Buck Owens?

From working in a grocery store through high school & college, I have come to hate Phil Collins with the passion of a thousand suns. I eagerly await the day when I can dance on his grave to "Invisible Touch".

From working in a grocery store through high school & college, I have come to hate Phil Collins with the passion of a thousand suns. I eagerly await the day when I can dance on his grave to "Invisible Touch".

Another year and it will be better…

Another year and it will be better…

Calling Dr. Love is the gem in the KISS Crown. That crown, by the way, is available on kissonline.com for $239.95.

Calling Dr. Love is the gem in the KISS Crown. That crown, by the way, is available on kissonline.com for $239.95.

Yeah, that had to be a dilemma. Which should I mention first, her lips or her hairy bush? You made the right call. You got a pair o' grapefruit-sized balls on ya, chief.

Yeah, that had to be a dilemma. Which should I mention first, her lips or her hairy bush? You made the right call. You got a pair o' grapefruit-sized balls on ya, chief.

I was sold on watching Killer Joe after reading half of the first question. All of her movies should start this way.

I was sold on watching Killer Joe after reading half of the first question. All of her movies should start this way.

Caught him performing with his barbershop quartet at the local VFW.

Caught him performing with his barbershop quartet at the local VFW.

HENDERSON!

HENDERSON!

Does he gleam the cube with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

Does he gleam the cube with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

Waiting for the Archmage to chime in on this one…