Oh, that reads FLAP.  For a second there I thought that Bruce & Will Smith had a very strange game of chess going and Bruce really enjoyed it.

BOOM!!!  KAPOW!!!  'SPLOSIONS!!!

Will said vodka come from a glass skull?  Because that's how I take my vodka, from a glass skull.

I thought they were cutting that in favor of, "You're Going to See Some Serious Shit".  It's kind of a Leonard Bernstein knock-off of the Jets song from West Side, very catchy number.

Was she in a convertible with an escaped convict who cuts labels off of mattresses?

Bitches, stay here and watch this wholly unnecessary remake.

No.

Meh, I've probably invested close to 5,000 hours to Bernie Lomax, so I suppose I could give a few to Alan.

But will Alex Winter be reprising his street tough role?  Forget remaking Death Wish, just skip right to the DW3 remake. 

Hogan went on to claim that he also was the inventor of the xylophone, the idea of "air quotes" and that he was the first to split the atom via a leg drop on some Uranium-238.

They're saying BOOUUUURRRRRRNS

If you like catchy pop tunes juxtaposed against scenes of ultraviolence, I would also recommend Layercake and its beatdown scene set to Duran Duran's Ordinary World.  You also could go with American Psycho.  Hey, how about an inventory on this?  AVClub, make this happen!  Or I will unleash an orgy of blood set to the…

The Hulkster would like to have a word with you, brother.

Looks like it's a tit-off.  My money's on Dolly, she's a veteran, who's showed endurance over the years of the Outrageous Tit Wars.

Everytime I hear it, I randomly disappear and oh yeah, Will Smith is the goddamn Antichrist!

I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

Jefferson City, MO begs to differ with you, good sir.  'Tis possibly the lowliest place in the great Show Me State, which is saying something…that something being:  Jefferson City is a turd.  One big, dried-up, white, crusty, dog turd.

Still, better than 3rd prize, which as I understand, is still "fired"

So, the Shinning will take place on March 20th, eh?  Groundskeeper Willy approves, but not between the hours of 4-5, that's Willy time.

I find your lack of lethal force disturbing.