Sergio Leone-era Clint Eastwood's Man-with-no-name.  Clint Eastwood was a good looking man back in the day.  As far as non-gay goes, the girl that played Carla in the live action segments of Kidd Video.  She is probably the main reason for my latina fixation.

Reading this review makes me so, so happy that I don't have a girlfriend over this Valentine's Day.  I'm going to spend 2/14 watching "Army of Darkness", eating a burrito, and farting.  Lots and lots of farting.

"Days of Wine & Roses".  That is some morbid shit, especially from the Pink Panther guy.

Roky Erickson and The Black Angels, anyway.  I could clear out before Metallica starts playing.

We call that "hard livin'".  It's the reason Zombie Bill looks like he could be my younger brother.

Muay Thai, bitches.  Any martial art in which metal cups are "strongly advised" is tough to top.

"Out of context"…the three sweetest words in the English language for PR guys.

He got a big tuft of hair ripped out of his chest by Bruce Lee.  That's pretty hardcore.

America always seems to turn into a bunch of 17th Century puritans during Super Bowl.  All we need is the funny hats with the belt buckles.

It's so cute how drummers think they matter.

We just had basic cable growing up.  It was episodes of Silk Stalkings for me, and occasionally Rhonda Shear on "USA Up All Night".

Yep, as if to prove he's a man of his word, he demonstrates that you ARE gonna die.

I demand a law to keep Christ in Christmas, men from marrying each other, and make flag-burning punishable by public execution.  THAT, my friends, is American Values!

Angry Latina with any sort of sharp object nearby?  Just leave the area and call 911.  You cannot reason with it, you cannot bargain with it, and it will not stop until you are dead.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Latin women are some of the most beautiful females in the world until you've been stabbed by one.  Stay in school, kids!

I'm not supposed to say this, but pretty much yeah.

I'm so, so glad I no longer work with developmentally disabled adults.  This is just the sort of crap they'd be demanding me to take them to.

I can almost forgive all of Bob Rock's other transgressions solely on the strength of the Sonic Temple album.  He still needs a good cock-stomping for what he did to Metallica, though.

This story is hilarious for more reasons than I can count.  I remember reading an interview with Bruce Hornsby when the interviewer asked him if he was okay with Sean Hannity using "The Way it is" as bumper music for his radio show.  Bruce said something along the lines of "Not really.  We asked him to stop using it,…

I wouldn't mind putting a few WHITE dots on her forehead!