Best perpetually old guy: Charles Bronson or Jack Palance?

No kidding.  I'm pretty sure I won a Grammy once for something-or-other.  It might've been for "Best Urban Artist" back in the mid-90s.  I'd check, but I traded it for a bottle of scotch.

I know all of these words, but nothing in this Inventory makes any sense.

Great, now we'll have a Chris Cornell/Hank Williams Jr. duet in the works.

"…in truth, Haywire is simply a delivery system for ass-kickings, calibrated to the specific talents of Gina Carano, a former mixed-martial-arts star and American Gladiator whose fists (and feet) of fury can rattle skulls and cave in chests".
What, don't MMA have any new midgets for us lately???

I saw the best bitches of my generation destroyed by madness, starving
hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn running from an angry
pimp.

Join me or die!  Can you do any less?

"Chang, why are you in the supplies closet?"
"It's a su-plise pahty!!!"
(laugh track)

Lee Marvin.  He'd singlehandedly crack the heads of all the terrorists, and probably several flight attendants.

How I miss the non-threatening negroes of the Reagan years, with their funny haircuts & bright, colorful shirts.  And they only rapped about nice things, things EVERYONE could enjoy.

Yeah, on the one hand, Polanski made some pretty cool movies which is good, but on the other hand he drugged & sodomized a minor, which is fucking awesome.

REDUCO!!!  The Obesity SLAYER!!!

Four years ago, Romney was the crazy one, and now he seems almost appealing compared to a psycho like Gingrich.  I swear to God, if that toad says the word "frankly" one more time, I'm sledgehammering my radio.

However he handles this, I can only hope he does it in a fashion as spectacularly hilarious as Hank Williams Jr. did when his "free speech" was denied.  Man, that whole spectacle was more fun than watching chimps hurl feces at each other!

It;s the Al Roker Syndrome.  They always look like someone popped them with a pin.  Women (and Al Roker) always look better with some curves.

For my money, this entire primary has been worth my time & attention solely for the description of Newt Gingrich as an "angry little attack muffin".  Please remind me never to get on Peggy Noonan's shitlist.

This article is about twice as long as it needs to be.  LIKE A BLACK GUY'S PENIS!!!

Truly, truly inspirational!

I'm just going to watch "Mean Girls", and muse over what untapped potential life might've held for Ms. Lohan.  And jack off.

Really?  'cause I can totally give you a deal on a set of Klipsch subwoofers.  Think it over, 'kay?